When it’s time to relax, the city’s top performers know exactly where to head
By Jack Houston
Photos by Christopher DeVargas
Hair and makeup by Sarah Barker
In Menopause The Musical, the coming-of-a-certain-age story from creator Jeanie Linders, four women find themselves in the middle of a department store fighting over a bra—while simultaneously trying to fight off the symptoms of the dreaded M-word.
The characters come from all walks of life—the working woman, the hippie-dippie Earth mother, the Midwestern housewife and the aging soap star—but have more in common than they ever thought. Through hot flashes, night sweats, illogical food cravings and mood swing after mood swing, they come to terms with their condition—and have a few laughs at their own expense through clever song parodies.
There’s “Drippin’ and Droppin’” to the tune of Dusty Springfield’s “Wishin’ and Hopin’,” and “Don’t Say Nothing Bad About My Body” adds a twist to the
similarly titled Marvin Gaye hit.
At Nurture—The Spa at Luxor, just downstairs from the showroom Menopause calls home, guests can indulge in spa packages that cater to all ages, whether you’re going through the Silent Passage or not. The Mommy-to-Be Package ($200) combines a massage and facial, while the Girls Night Out Package ($300) pairs a sugar scrub with makeup application and a mani-pedi. Make time to unwind by taking a dip in the Jacuzzi, and hope those hot flashes don’t follow you.
Menopause The Musical
Luxor, 5:30 p.m. Wed.-Mon., 8 p.m. Tues., $49.95-$65 plus tax and fee. 702.262.4400
Nuture—The Spa at Luxor
Luxor, 6 a.m.-8:30 p.m. daily. 800.258.9308
It’s not easy being a Chippendale. Oh, sure, you get to prance around onstage to the adoring screams of hundreds of women every night—that’s the fun part. But the stars of Rio’s long-running revue aren’t Ken dolls who come fully groomed with that perfect golden glow. It takes a lot of spraying, ripping, trimming and buffing to look that good. For that, there’s Rio Spa & Salon. The full-service spa offers treatments for men—not just massages and facials, but everything from haircuts (from $45) and highlights (from $90) to spray tans ($55) and waxing treatments (from as low as $20). Access to the Rio’s fitness center comes complimentary with some spa treatments, so if you’re looking to sport a bow tie and cuff links, or perhaps just wanting to tone up some trouble spots, they’ve got you covered. There’s a reason why mainly women pose with the cast after the show—somehow the rest of us have a hard time stacking up.
Chippendales The Show
Rio, 8 p.m. Sun.-Wed., 8 & 10:30 p.m. Thurs.-Sat., $49.95-$73 plus tax and fee, 18+. 702.777.7776
Rio Spa & Salon
Rio, 6 a.m.-7 p.m. daily. 702.777.7779
The action is hot underneath the Stripside tent that houses Absinthe, but inside the Arctic Ice Room at Caesars Palace’s Qua Baths & Spa, it’s a nippy 55 degrees Fahrenheit. Don’t worry—the floors and benches are heated to keep you from truly stepping into a winter wonderland, but the crisp air and actual falling snow (In autumn! In Las Vegas!) can be as rejuvenating as many of the spa’s more traditional treatments. The ancient Roman Baths ritual is a series of three pools that restores, soothes and invigorates, while an in-house tea sommelier pairs hot and/or cold teas with treatments to make sure your tastebuds receive the same care as the rest of the body. When they’re not freezing their assets off, Angel Porrino (left) and Melody Sweets (right) are the stars of one of the raunchiest shows on the Strip. Porrino tap-dances inside a giant bubble in various states of undress, and Sweets is the Green Fairy herself, a chanteuse and burlesque artist whose sensual interludes are as potent as the spirit from which the show takes its name.
Caesars Palace, 8 & 10 p.m. Wed.-Sun., $99-$124 VIP plus tax and fee. 800.745.3000 Ticketmaster
Qua Baths & Spa
Caesars Palace, 6 a.m.-8 p.m. daily. 866.782.0655
Don’t call it a comeback—teases and perms have been here for years. OK, so maybe they haven’t been in style for years, but they’ve been here, patiently waiting for the day when a Broadway musical would revive the music and fashions of the golden era of hair metal. Rock of Ages is that musical, a throwback to the halcyon days of leather and denim and spandex and fishnets. The Venetian’s ode to the ’80s is a rocking romp through some of the biggest hits of the decade, from “Every Rose Has Its Thorn” to “Don’t Stop Believin’,” and every “Cum on Feel the Noize” in between. At Canyon Ranch SpaClub at The Venetian and The Palazzo, the hairstyles might be a bit more modern, but they can accommodate any taste—even if you insist on “the Dee Snider.” The Brazilian Blowout ($450) locks in amino acids for a straighter look that lasts up to three months, but designer cuts start as low as $55, with extensions, color and cut all available. You wanna know what hair is? You want them to show you?
Rock of Ages
The Venetian, 8 p.m. Sun. & Tues.-Fri., 7 & 10 p.m. Sat., $55.90-$115 plus tax and fee. 702.414.9000
Canyon Ranch SpaClub
The Venetian & The Palazzo, 6 a.m.-8 p.m. daily. 702.414.3600
More of the stars’ spa treatments: