More than half a century after they were formed, is there anything—anything—about the legendary Rolling Stones that even the most casual fan doesn’t know? Well … perhaps. Which is why we scoured a host of sources for odd, obscure, offbeat and flat-out absurd details about Mick & Co. (We’d say that we hope learning these tidbits affords you some satisfaction, but we do not traffic in such hoary, clichéd groaners.)

• Said Mick Jagger decades back: “I’d rather be dead than singing ‘Satisfaction’ when I’m 45.” No problem. He hasn’t been 45 for 28 years now.

• Among those auditioning for the role of Dr. Frank N. Furter in the 1975 flick The Rocky Horror Show? Our man Mick. Which makes sense when you figure how many women he’s invited to “Toucha Toucha Toucha Touch Me.”

• How many, you ask? Estimates—his own and others—put his bedmates at around 4,000. I hate you, Mick.

• Bullies picked on little Mickie in school for his, um, unique looks. Hey bullies—how many babes have you bagged since then?

• The man has a 28-inch waist. I hate you Mick, Part II.

• How many times did Keith Richards fail his driving test? Three. On the fourth try, Richards sent his “minder” to impersonate him—and he passed on Richards’ behalf. Let’s hope the minder doubles as Richards’ chauffeur.

• Until Dec. 4, 1965, the Stones were drug-free. But on that day, Richards, Mick Jagger and Brian Jones showed up at an “acid test” given by the “Merry Pranksters,” a group that introduced newbies to LSD. Which likely gave new meaning to the phrase, “the more the merrier.”

• In his raunchy anthem “She’s The Boss,” Jagger dressed in drag in nearly $40,000 worth of dresses, frilly accouterments and makeup—and declared himself “still the sexiest bit of skirt around.” Wonder if any of those 4,000 bedmates found their frocks missing in the morning?

• Producers of A Clockwork Orange originally wanted Jagger for the role of the psychopath eventually played by Malcolm McDowell. Can you see Mick warbling “Singin’ in the Rain” while beating people to death? Somehow I can’t. Although …

• Stones song “Midnight Rambler” is based on Boston Strangler Albert DeSalvo. Yeah … Maybe I can see it.

• Following a Toronto drug bust, Richards quipped: “Drugs were never a problem. Policemen were a problem.” Hey, isn’t everything in life just a matter of perspective?

• Original bassist Bill Wyman’s hobby is metal detecting. When he’s feeling really wild, he counts the paint ridges in his bedroom ceiling.

• In 1975, the Stones toured using a giant inflatable penis as a prop. Its nickname? “Tired Grandfather”—for its inability to, um, stand tall. Today, they could tour with an inflatable blue pill.

• Among the psychological observations of Jagger was one that opined that his performance style “opened up definitions of gendered masculinity and so laid the foundations for self-invention and sexual plasticity.” Whoa. Sexual plasticity? Slow down. We haven’t even figured out the whole transgender/bathroom thing.

• In his autobiography, Pete Townshend claims Jagger was the only man with whom he ever wanted to be intimate. C’mon, Mick—wanna make it 4,001 (non-gender-specific) bedmates?

• David Bowie once stated: “I think Mick Jagger would be astounded and amazed if he realized that to many people he is not a sex symbol, but a mother image.” Sorry … got nothin’.

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