Taking a subway ride with Jenny From the Block
Yo, J.Lo, how ya doin? Bronx native, right? Me too! You hail from the Castle Hill section—South Bronx. Me, the Morris Heights section—West Bronx.
The Bronx Rules!
You up for a little nostalgia—a ride on the No. 6 subway that inspired the title of your On the 6 album, the one you always took into Manhattan? So did I! Wasn’t it fun dodging gang-bangers, street prophets, flashers and mimes? Let’s take a jaunt to yesteryear before you head westward to join the Vegas roster of superstar headliners.
Let’s catch it at Pelham Bay, the station of origination, where it’s the El—natives’ shorthand for elevated train—before it burrows underground. Watch the sliding doors. (You don’t want to damage that famous rear carriage of yours.) How ’bout a bit of “Jenny From the Block” while we’re barreling down the tracks? Put on a show!
“Don’t be fooled by the rocks that I got / I’m still Jenny from the block.” Belt it, baby! Don’t worry about that elderly woman asleep in the construction worker’s lap—nothing’s waking her. But the 6 is filling up with Big Apple characters—you’re getting an audience.
“Used to have a little, now I have a lot / No matter where I go I know where I came from—south-side Bronx!” That street musician who just jumped in isn’t playing in your key. I’ll give him a buck to move along. Whoa, Jenny, that’s super generous, but stuffing a thousand-dollar check in the bell of his sax isn’t quite Jenny-From-the-Block-like.
“From ‘In Living Color’ to movie scripts / To ‘On the 6’ to J.Lo to this headline clips / I stay grounded as the amounts roll in.” Watch out around the support poles. That guy in the Spiderman getup is climbing them upside down. “Keep away from J.Lo, weirdo! What does she look like—the Green Goblin?”
“I’m real even on Oprah / That’s just me / Nothin’ phony don’t hate on me / What you get is what you see.” Don’t dance near that guy in the top hat and shorts who’s petting his snake. Or is that noise just from the baby rattle of the swaddled infant next to them?
“We off the block this year / Went from a low to a lot this year.” Check out those teens with purple-streaked hair and safety pins in their tongues, making out. If they French kiss, they’ll need a locksmith to pry them apart.
“Everybody mad at the rocks that I wear / I know where I’m goin’ and I know where I’m from.” Move aside a bit, Jenny, that Popeyes Chicken mascot wants to sit down and can’t squeeze his feathers inside the metal railing.
“Nothing phony with us / Make the money, get the mansion / Bring the homies with us.” Keep belting, Jen. Just because the Les Miserables cast filed in doesn’t mean you should join them for “Can You Hear the People Sing,” which loses a little drama with a hip-hop beat.
“Don’t be fooled by the rocks that I got / I’m still, I’m still Jenny from the block.” Look—a mariachi band just boarded. Think if we pay ’em union scale, they’ll play back up for you?”
“Used to have a little now I have a lot / No matter where I go I know where I came from—south-side Bronx.” Wow, the whole subway car’s rockin’ with you now. Even the elderly woman woke up. She’s dirty dancin’ between Spiderman and the Popeyes chicken dude.
This is what I call a Jenny-From-the-Block party. Let’s move it to Vegas.
Planet Hollywood Resort, 9 p.m. Jan. 27 & 29-30, Feb. 3, 5-6 & 9, starting at $59 plus tax and fee. 800.745.3000 Ticketmaster