Jim Gaffigan is fat. That’s not meant to be a disparaging comment—after all, the comedian’s excessive girth has been the primary focus of his act for years. He even titled his two books Food: A Love Story and Dad Is Fat. To understand Gaffigan’s ongoing battle with the bulge, one need look no further than his material. For starters, he’s not a big fan of fruit (“Has peeling an orange ever really been worth it?”), even admitting he once didn’t instantly recognize a bowl of apples (“It was so odd to see them outside of a pie”).

As much as Gaffigan abhors fruit, he has even less use for vegetables, especially kale, the taste of which he equates to both “bitter spinach with hair” and bug spray. (“I once saw a can of bug spray that said ‘Made with real kale.’”). Conversely, he worships bacon, Hot Pockets and donuts (“Ever met someone who doesn’t like a donut? Want know why? Because they’re in jail”), and insists that McDonald’s fries are nonpareil (“Has your mother ever made anything that tastes better than the McDonald’s fry? Not even close”). Hmm, come to think of it, yeah, Gaffigan may be fat, but … he makes some very valid points.

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